Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
