I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize