Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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