shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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