Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize