My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
