After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
