dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize