He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
