i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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