I CAN MOONWALK!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
