Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
