Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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