WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize