Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Come see our sink grown plant.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
