i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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