North Korea, Best Korea!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
