I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
