I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My vagina is officially offended.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
