that's an acceptable place to lick
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
