So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
