Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
