We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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