somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
