I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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