All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Pants are for mortals
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize