I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
