Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
smell my finger.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
