when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize