There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
