i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
