I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
