how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
