Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
