I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
