I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize