glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
