I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
