It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize