our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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