Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
