I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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