I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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