For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
