you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
