we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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