idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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