ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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