thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
