Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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