Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
