mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Couch. On fire.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
