i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
