They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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