and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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