i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
