My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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