My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
