Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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