trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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