We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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