just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
