You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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