Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
