Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
