The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
