We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
