He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Rumble strips road head = magical
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
