at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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