Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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