Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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