I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
